Paying for past sins is something I live with every day. I’m fifty-four years old and a diabetic. It’s not the bad kind, that is to say, insulin dependent, but bad enough.
Growing up, I lived large; not in the sense that I had everything given to me, but lived life to the limits. You couldn’t tell me not to do something, for I would do it just to spite the adult. I can’t blame my parents; I was just a wild child.
My father once told me,”don’t knock it until I tried it.” I followed his advice to the extreme. I did drugs and anything else I thought made life worth living. Now, I am paying for things I regret doing.
While working for a soft drink company, I was living large. I had the best job ever, even when I was sighted. I made more money and spent it like a drunken Indian. That’s what my own father said of me. I did all the Coke, or rather drank all the Coke I wanted. I ate everything that was good; thus that meant it was really bad for me. It was these bad habits that made me into a diabetic.
This disease scared the hell out of me. I was like a deer caught in the oncoming headlights. I did everything I was suppose to do for a healthy life, but it was too late. I quit Coke to write full time and I finally started exercising. I changed my eating habits, cut down my drinking, but it was too little, too late.
I heard one can beat diabetes, but it takes a discipline I lack. I maintain a quality of life and living as a monk on bread and water is not living.
I have fallen off the wagon in my discipline and the disease has gotten worse. I am still taking pills, just more potent . It sucks, but I am paying for my bad habits.
If I was given a choice of do overs, I might change a few things, but for the most part, I would keep it as it was lived. The lessons I learned has served me well; even if they were hard.
I have always tried to live by by a saying I read in a book. Man’s purpose in life is not merely to exist, but to live! What else were God’s intentions for us?
I try to follow my beliefs, coupled with moderation, and so I hope to live a little longer; God willing.